My Desert Song

One of my current favorite worship songs is: Desert Song by Hillsong. My son was listening to it the other day on Pandora and asked me what the song was about. With an "I'm so glad you asked" mindset, I tried to describe to him how there are times when we struggle to understand what God is doing around us. We might feel discouraged, confused, and have more questions than answers about something important to us.

Then, in a roll-reversal moment, he plainly stated an observation about deserts that taught me more than I probably imparted to him that day. "Well, yah Mom. That makes sense, because what else is there to do in the desert but ride a camel and drink water from a cactus."

In my struggles to understand what the Lord is doing, I am often only searching to drink at an oasis. They're beautiful, lush, refreshing .... They're also very few in the desert. I want to pass up the prickly opportunities to be nourished along the way hoping that an oasis will be just around the corner. My son's comment was a reminder to me that the Lord often supplies refreshment in the most unlikely and thorny of places. The thorns of the cactus make me not want to touch it. "Stay Away!" They shout. "I'll hurt you!" Then, I think. "Lord, you can't possibly want to use this to bring me closer to you. It's painful. I don't want to be uncomfortable."

Yet, here's the thing. As a child, I didn't understand how to handle the thorns of a cactus. They looked small and non-threatening. A few pokes later, I reasoned that the gardening tools my mother was using were a pretty good idea. There is a word for this: Wisdom. It's the same way in our deserts. When the thorny opportunities come to us, there are tools to cut into such things. I just need to choose to use them. If I choose not to pick up the Word of God and read it, I get stuck by the thorns. If I choose not to cultivate prayer time, I get stuck by the thorns.

Wandering in a spiritual desert is a difficult time. Our discouragement may make it difficult for us to do the very things that will give us water to drink. I was in that place again recently, and I'm grateful that I picked up my sword. The cacti are coming open a lot easier again.

Hebrews 4:12 For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.

John 4:13-14 Jesus answered, "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Will you go with me?

The very words used to make my stomach turn. Will you go with me? Check the box: yes...no...maybe. What to do, what to do. How could there be so many big decisions in 4th grade!

26 years later not much has changed, has it? Except, it's my daughter's turn this time, and Momma thought for sure she had this one figured out. Been there, done that... It really caught me by surprise, though, to tell the truth. How could she be old enough to be asked that? How can I remember feeling that way? Are those really white hairs I see in the mirror?...... A boy in her class had asked her right in front of her classmates. She politely declined as she had no interest in the boy anyway, but was largely embarrassed by the attention and the questions that followed from all those who saw the interaction. As she told me about it after school that day, my initial response and advice was focused on how to let the boy down nicely, how to handle these things with the help of friends, how not to worry about what others think, etc. The bigger picture never occurred to me.

How is there a bigger picture? This is only 4th grade after all. What's the big deal? They're just trying out relationships, right? Practice dating, crushes, going steady....isn't it all o.k.? Didn't we do that?

I have been telling my daughter for the past year or so to guard her heart. Sure, she "likes" some boys more than others, and whenever we talk about those feelings I encourage her to guard her heart, don't spend too much time thinking about it, enjoy being a kid. I tell her that she will spend so many days, weeks, months and years of her life wanting to have a boyfriend, be in a relationship, and get married that the wait can seem so very long at times. The sooner that road starts, the longer the trip. Yet, when it came to "checking the going-out-with-me box", I thought it was cute. I mean, they weren't going to go on an actual "date", right? I totally missed the point.

Later on that week I was talking to a new friend of mine with daughters around the same age as mine. I was asking her what they are doing with the going out topic in their household. She shared that their girls won't be "going with" anyone until they are old enough to individual date. We talked about how children are forced and sometimes encouraged to grow up faster and faster these days. Almost as if the moms are living vicariously through their children. Her sister works in an E.R. in a large city. Within the past year, this sister has helped deliver babies of two different 9 yr. old mothers!! What?!?!

She challenged me to think about how encouraging a 4th grader to have a boyfriend really didn't help to guard her heart, even if it appeared harmless. We both agreed that our children are and will continue to do activities with groups of friends that have guys and girls. I know that I have great memories of that!!! And I want that for my children as well, and for as long as possible, without the pressure to pair off.

I am so grateful for friends who challenge me to think beyond my own experience. My life, and that of my children, is so much richer for it!

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Prov. 4:23 NLT)

T.V. Takes a Time-out

This year more than ever before I have felt the desire to limit the amount of T.V. intake and influence there is in our lives. I think I can identify a few of the reasons: Our oldest daughter began attending public school this year (4th gr.) rather than continuing with homeschool. Our oldest son would live in a T.V. if he could. Our youngest son is doing most things are oldest son is doing. Our kids are involved in a few evening activities in addition to Wed. evening AWANA fun.

When the weather was nice, the T.V. was much less of an issue. The 3 older kids would head outside as quick as they could after school to check out what the newest was with the neighborhood gang. But if the weather was bad and the T.V. was on, the black box was the center of attention, and most often the only discussion had to do with who had the remote and what show to watch next. I found myself wishing for nice days, because I liked what it afforded my children in their relationships with each other.

As I mentioned earlier, my son's world wouldn't be more complete if it had another piece of media in it. Tech-y someday he will be. We've kept a close eye on what the kids are watching on T.V. So the actual shows themselves weren't my concern with him. What I did notice was a decrease in his ability to focus if he had just finished watching a few shows on T.V., an increase in complaints about being bored, and a lack of awareness of his surroundings (baby sister near him who had something she shouldn't have). Yuck!

I was reluctant to do anything dramatic. I hadn't thought through a plan yet, and I really wanted them to experience the value in having less T.V. as well. So as the nice days decreased, and fall weather began to settle in, I began an internal experiment (I didn't tell anybody else about it :-)). When the kids would ask to have the T.V. on in the afternoon, I started saying 'No, not today. Go find a game to go play or a book to read ... or I could give you work to do.' As this continued, they began to ask less until one day I began to say 'We're not going to have the T.V. on in the afternoon during the week anymore.' Eventually too, we left the T.V. off until the kids went to bed and then my husband and I would turn it on after that.

So here is what I've noticed since we began this new routine:

As our daughter would come home from school and complete her homework, I began noticing that our sons were glad to see her. Eager to tell her about their day, to hear about this other world called 'public school', or to recruit another worthy opponent for a game, they were having a really hard time waiting for their big sister to join them. They enjoy spending time with each other more now. Perhaps it's because now they have enough time to have conflict and resolve it, instead of harboring it.

My media attached child has a new love: reading. He had been enjoying the various eye witness series books which are full of wonderful pictures that we would snatch up at the library, but I couldn't get him to pick up chapter books on his own for free reading. He is a fine reader, but he is a 7 yr. old boy who struggles with focus and follow-through. Toys and T.V. were a much better option in his mind. Now he can't get enough of 'Secret Agent Jack Stalwart'. I'm so proud of him!

The dust has been blown off of board games. Toys have been brought to me with long dead batteries. The basement is constantly a mess from block towers, car race tracks, legos, scrabble tiles, dress-ups. It's funny how when they were toddlers I couldn't wait until they didn't pull toys out everywhere, but now as elementary kids I'm so thankful that they do.

My daughter is sharing in more detail about her day at school. And, I, as her mom, don't want to miss a thing. I'm enjoying her so much more now too. How can 10 seem so old?

Tomorrow starts the weekend, so we will have on 'Saturday morning cartoons' (as if!! It's really what they have recorded on the DVR all week.), and College Footbal Gameday (Go Hawks!). The experiment was worth it for us, and I don't think we are going back to the old days. There is an unexpected, noticeable freedom that has come to our home.

"Everything is permissible for me"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. I Corinthians 6:12

What I'm doing to build immunity for the season

I've gotten a lot of questions lately regarding what we are doing to build up everyone's immune systems for the cold/flu season. I've got my plan together now, so I thought I'd share it.

1. Water. Everyone is going to drink more water. I think a few of us are truly camels in our family, so those especially will be challenged by this. For me, I bought one of those BPA-free 2 L personal water jugs to drink from so that I reach my goal of 100 oz. in a day.

2. Echinacea. For preventative use, my daughter attending public school is taking a double dose once a day 5 days a week. 5 days on with 2 days off during the weekend keeps her immune system sharpened. Currently, she is using Viramune by Trilight Health. I also recently placed an order for a highly rated Echinacea product form iherb.com. It is called: Esberitox. This product is new for us, but I'm looking forward to trying out their chewable form. For treatment of colds, depending on how well each of us fights off the cold, we start the echinacea in some form. If the kids shake it off pretty quick, then I don't give them any. If they seem to be struggling and are running a fever, then I start the echinacea.

3. TrilightHealth.com is a long time favorite herbal company of mine. We have used it for 10 years now. My favorites to keep on hand: Viramune (for basic colds), Scout Out (for colds that turn worse, especially for us adults), Throat Care (by far, the best sore throat soother around...my kids ask for it every time and I always grab for it...even throughout the night), UrinaryTone w/cranberries (has always done a better job than antibiotics for UTIs for me.) My husband was very skeptical when I first started using these. He used to laugh and tell me that he wasn't going to 'drink grass' to get better. However, we have been antibiotic free for 5 years now, and I am convinced these have helped. He is now a regular proponent of these herbs and uses them himself.

4. Probiotics. Since the colon is one of the first lines of internal defense against viruses/bacteria, our entire family will be on this all year long. It's safe for all ages. We are currently using Jarro-Dophilus + FOS by Jarrow Formulas. It also has received very reliable ratings at iherb.com. With some many probiotics on the market, it is really important to get one that actually makes it alive to the colon. One of the things I have really liked about this product is that the capsules are small enough for my 10 and 7 year old to swallow whole, and of course, I just sprinkle it on applesauce, etc. for my 4 and 1 year old.

5. Vitamin D!! The research available now is so compelling regarding the connection between Vitamin D and immunity to colds/flu. The current recommendations in multi-vitamins appear to not be enough. From the research I could find online, it appears that a good maintenance amount per day (include all sources: milk, multi-vits, other vits.) is 4000 IU for adults, 2000 IU for children (1000 for toddlers). Adults should take 15,000 IU for three days at the onset of a cold. Again, I found products at iherb.com that I am excited to try. For the kids, Rainbow Light Vitamin D 1000 IU Sunny Gummies. For my husband and I, Bluebonnet nutrition, Vitamin D3, Natural Lanolin Source 1000 IU. If the kids are outside for more than a good hour in the day, then I will back down their necessary amount by 500 IU. Through the late spring to early fall, I won't be supplementing with extra vitamin D for my older children, since they are outside so much. If they are using sunscreen that day (i.e. at the beach), then I will give them extra vitamin D since sunscreen prevents Vitamin D absorption from the sun.

6. Multi-vitamins. I almost forgot the obvious! The kids are taking Animal Parade (comes in liquid and chewable forms). I am taking New Chapter Organics. These both are made from whole food sources. I like that since the body recognizes them as food and thus these have a higher absorption rate. That is why the % will be lower in these than in manufactured vitamins. My husband is taking Source Naturals Life Force Multiple. We have ordered these from amazon.com and have found them at our local health food store.

There are plenty of vitamin and supplement options out there, and a lot of them are not good or effective at all. Not all vitamins are created equal, so make sure you do your research and ask around about good ones for your family. Staff at local health food stores can be very helpful with this. Also, check online sites for ratings and see what people are saying about them. Dr. Mercola's site is a site that I often check to see what his opinion is on things. It's good to be informed and balanced when spending money and hoping things will work.

Whew! Well that's our plan.

10 Best Decisions I Made This Summer

1. Enrolled my kids in swimming lessons as soon as we moved. They swam M-F for 6 weeks. We met new friends, and my once fearful water babies are now more like fish.

2. Bought the boys loft beds for their cracker box room. Instead of bunk beds, we made the decision to buy University Loft Jr. loft beds. What an awesome purchase! Those 'caves' under their beds will be priceless play and storage spaces once the weather turns cold.

3. Showed my daughter how to help scrape off wallpaper.

4. Stocked the cupboard with Magic Shell.

5. Had 2 garage sales.

6. Learned how to play Cornhole. What?!

7. Inquired about the warranty on our windows. Yes, they get replaced for free!

8. Realizing that pleasure and contentment aren't as far away as I thought.

9. Picking up my 4 1/2 year old son as much as he'll still let me.

10. Sleeping in.

My new fave children's product: The Germinator

With all the colds recently in our home I was excited to find a non-alcohol based 'germ-x' type of product. It is by BabyGanics and it is called The Germinator. It comes out as a foam so the kids don't run through it as quickly. It's been great for them to use after blowing their noses, and for me after wiping so many noses. My hands haven't gotten all dried out like they usually do.

On a light note, my daughter wanted to hold her baby sister who was still healthy at that point. When I asked her if she would wash her hands, she replied with: "Yes, Mom, I already germinated." :-)

Threats to my security

What a strange 10 days in my life!

In a nutshell, I had what appeared to be an attempted break-in at my house during the final night that my husband was planned to be gone. Over the following week we prepared for our move and closing on our old and new home. I watched as our belongings were packed up and loaded on a truck by people I did not know (moving company). While driving half of our children (my husband and sons were in the other car) to our new home in a new state, I was nearly sideswiped on the interstate and almost flipped our van as I swerved and tried to recover from avoiding the crash. Later on that afternoon, we arrived at our new home which I was then seeing for the first time. Not to mention last minute financial hang-ups with both closings and illnesses among our family to name a few.

From the outside, it seems insurmountable. A strange twist of fate, random events that make one want to stick their head in the sand. Threats to take away so much.

However, I do not believe in fate nor do I believe these were random events. My life is held in the One who created me, and knows the number of hairs on my head. Yes, the Lord quieted my spirit when I was trembling inside, and reminds me that He watches over and out for me. He is a good and faithful God. I do not understand why He protects me from some pain, but not others that I think He should. In recent months I have had more questions than answers. However, the Lord has taught me that His wisdom is beyond measure. He is threatened by no one and no circumstance is out of His control. It is why He is God and I am not. For that, I am grateful.